After our glorious victory over the Necromancer and his foul, rotten entourage and overcoming those deadly traps, GiroLamo, PrismAss and I got us some break.
I helped cleansing the well and stuck my nose into some historical books and scripts. It was such a great and recreational time.
Of course we got disturbed by the nerdy and creepy new acquaintances of our group, together with ‘Ch (it seems that trouble follows this guy like his shadow … hmm, wait … did I ever see any shadow of him?)
You see, your beloved bard is never able to get some long lasting peaceful moment. But that’s the way I like it, anyway. As patient as I am and as you know me, still I can get bored easily over time.
Yes, they returned back. ‘Ch, Mista and … a horse, pulling a carriage. As it turned out the horse was or is Nafirith. This wicked woman transformed herself into a horse but she had to wait for some time to transform her back.
If this is the general way of transformation or just lack of experience, I can not tell you. But if I have to guess, I would say it’s the second one.
They did not only brought a carriage but a furry creature, too. Her name was Magpis … I vaguely remember some language from some traveler in the Underdark. And this name would have a very funny meaning, in that particular language. Anyway, because of her appearance the field opened for a lot of puns, most of them prefurrably concerning … I guess you get the rest of it, now. And many of furrther time spent was very childish play with words.
You know me and therefore you know that I am too serious for such trivialities.
Important about the guest was … furrst she was wounded. More on this later on. Second she was very attractive and would she not be weakened by her wounds, I would have prefurred to find out about her agility. But after GiroLamo tended to her wounds, we were focused on another of her abilities.
She was adapt with herbs and with brewing potions, even poisons. I guess I know somebody else who would be interested into her, too. Hmmm … two of them … could be very exciting and exhausting at the same time. Ah, stop that day-dreaming!
Luckily we could ask her to sell some of her potions and prepare some drink to let you fly … no, not those kind of drinks. I mean such one which makes you literally fly. And we got it for a great discount. If you would have been on her best vital state, I guess I could have had her granting us an even greater discount.
Oh, yes … I promised to get back to the fact that this smoking hot cat-lady was wounded. I learned that she got stabbed by Mista because he shat his pants after looking into her eyes. Interestingly he stabbed her from behind. Interestingly but not surprisingly. I don’t know if this guy is stupid or dangerous. But because I can not tell, I am considering him as dangerous. And I will not turn my back to him at any time. Better keeping an eye or both on him.
Fortunately we had a pleasant and undisturbed night (even if I would have loved to have some kind of disturbance … perhaps next time). And in the mornign Magpis had her potion ready and we decided that PrismAss and the horse will bring Magpis back to Phandalin, safely. Meanwhile the four of us will take care about some Orks, harassing nearby miners – not to forget about an involved magical forge.
So the merry band walked to the direction where those Orcs have seen last time. And it took not so long when we discovered a mass of rocks … the educated readers amongst you would have recognized them as Wyvern Tor. And there was a single Orc patrolling. Obviously he was not alone, but there was smoke coming out amidst from the rocks.
As you might know our usual strategy you would think that we would start running towards this Orc guard and yelling at him from the top of our lungs. But not this time. This time we were playing smart. I mean I am smart and the others were playing like so. Thus we came up with a plan to lure the Orc towards our position to capture and tor…ahm…interrogate him.
Thanks to my brilliant mastering my voice and a short introduction into a few orcish words, I was able to call to the Orc pretending to be an orcish lady … no, there is not such thing … so, pretending to be an orcish cooch. Of course this dump creature got the bait and moved towards us.
The plan was working until he stood in front of ’Ch and us. And I have to say, for an Orc he got a good grasp of what was going on, pretty fast. Faster than ’Ch because the Orc hit him with a nasty axe at the chest. But we put a fast end to this and knocked the stinker unconscious.
After GiroLamo woke him up very gently we started to ask him about the camp. So ‘Ch started to ask him because he is the only one in our group able to speak this harsh, nasty language (no style, definitely). And it looked like he could establish some connection … probably because he is an half-orc.
Later we found out that the Orc can speak Common and that he despite ’Ch … you see, it is very difficult to interpret the mood of a foreign culture.
So, it was not such a surprise that our captive did not want to tell us anything. And our suspicious Mista wanted to kill the creature immediately, of course. Thus there was some fast growing tension within our group. But I kept a cool head and everybody was calming down, finally. And we had to promise to our priest that we will not kill the Orc.
The next attempt of interrogation was not going any way better and this stinking, dumb fuck of a piece of shit started to take it to a personal level. Oh yes, and he was still lying like hell.
Playing nice was done. I threatend him to cut his Achilles’ tendon if he won’t start telling the truth. First he refused. After the first cut into his heel, he started talking. After the second cut he starting talking the truth. But I am not that cruel. I did not cut his tendon only through the skin, perhaps scratching the tendon. And in worst case he has a second leg, doesn’t he.
Some when in between this interrogation somebody told the Orc that we are called Confurrence of fools … completely and utterly nonsense, completely.
Now we got the information that there is a second entrance at the back side and that there are six Orcs and a massive, brutal Ogre. After a good whack at his head, the Orc was send to Sehanine Moonbow’s realm (not that she would except such a creature). And believe me, I do not forget about the thing he started with me and there will be some bone to pick with him.
But right after the talk, it was time for Mista to get into the cave to confirm what this stinker has said. The time we were waiting for Mista’s report was used to cure ’Ch’s wound. Mista was able to partly confirm what we heard, previously. Even spicing the information up with something about an Elite-Orc (whatever this might be).
So some planning was required … again, we would disappoint all of you thinking that we would like to run into a narrow, cavelike environment and fight some unpre… I mean battle-hardened foes. Unfortunately those creatures got inpatient about their missing comrade and started yelling after him.
Luckily we had one able to speak orcish and I knew how dumb folded this creatures are. So, what worked the first time will work a second time … right. But this time we started to make them interested into … a pile of turd. Yes, you got it. A pile of turd.
But again, we were not thinking the whole thing through and we ended up with three angry Orcs yelling alert and soon after we were facing three more battle-ready Orcs and soon after that a monstrous (what else) Ogre was showing up.
They might have been battle-ready but we are an extremely skilled group of adventurers. The Orcs fell like flies and the Ogre was dumb like bread and almost missing most of his hits. Even dumb enough to play chasing with ‘Ch.
But there was one important moment during our fight. You know that I do not pay much appreciation to the longsword I posses. Don’t get me wrong. It is very beautiful and I know it is magical sword. But usually I do much better with a rapier. And therefore the rapier is my first choice. But this time a voice in my head was asking me to use the talon, instead.
And what shall I tell you … it was a brilliant advice. This sword and Orcs are going great together. In a way that it cuts into those bodies and splits bones like they were thin branches. And it starts tingling and almost singing while it is doing it’s lethal and bloody work. It was such a sensation that I can not wait for the next time fighting Orcs again. You could say that I am addicted to cut down Orcs by wielding this piece of metal death.
And, I have to admit that I can see that there is more within Mista than just being a coward. He earned some of my respect by taking the risk of reconnaissance. And he also fought very well and he took a very hard hit from the Ogre … and survived.
Again, victory was ours. And we have one, I mean, two Orcs still alive to get them to the miners. And there the miners can do with them whatever they want to do. And we can get our reward. Perhaps there will be some more, because we brought them some living stock.
But first, we will check out their camp and see what kind of goodies we will find.